Saturday, July 10, 2010

Forum comment - sexual wrongness

A fellow started a forum thread where he asked readers to evaluate whether he had been wrong in having sex with his friend's heterosexually-married dad. This was my input:

Whether it was wrong is largely up to you and your thoughts about it; you each (probably) have responsibility for the choices you make, you for having sex with your friend's dad and he for having sex with his son's friend and (presumably) outside of his relationship. I add "presumably" because we don't know the terms of his relationship, and therefore will likely project an assumed sexually exlusive relationship onto them.

I don't think you were wrong or right in the matter, nor that it was necessarily a poor choice. The primary thing for you is how you feel about your choice and that you can either stand by it or live with and learn from it. You should consider it with relation to your values, both the ones you hold and the ones you want to hold (if they are different). As they may be different from the values of other persons, you may come into conflict with others (such as in some of the replies to this thread).

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Reply to studfucker's "I Love You, You Pay My Rent"

You can read studfucker's entry here: I Love You, You Pay My Rent

studfucker, through his posts, strikes me primarily as an exalting dominant man: he dominates other men to help them achieve and fulfill their submissive natures. Together through this, he and his submissive reach mutual exaltation; they reach their current boundaries dominant and submissive and stretch them that little bit further.

The other type of dominant he describes, the "Uncaring or Evil Top," is a degrading dominant man: he dominates other men to break them down and possess them. They are his objects; they and their boundaries (and exploring those boundaries) are not his concern as he has already brought them to a low enough level, one sufficient to keep them with little effort on his part. Speaking judgmentally, his dominance is lazy, it doesn't expand or explore; it is content with itself.

In the field of dominance and submission, I'd suspect that (as an inexperienced novice) contentment is generally undesireable. Dominance and submission is about exploring oneself and (sometimes) helping other explore themselves.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Formspring: Name three people you want to fuck your ass?

Only three? Here's a list of some guys I think I'd enjoy having anal sex with; you can focus on the top three if you want:

1) Chris Steele, porn star and director
2) Michael Brandon, porn star
3) Bobby Blake, porn star
4) Colton Ford, porn star
5) MeetTheBreeder, sex exploits blogger
6) Studfucker, sex exploits blogger
7) Mark Bentson (IBlastInside), sex exploits blogger
8) Stephen Cox, former sex exploits blogger (GeekSlut)
9) JuicyGigolo, porn actor and frequent twitterer
10) TravManFucksYou (on XTube), former sex exploits twitterer

This list is not exhaustive and there are some guys I'd like to cuddle with, but, for whatever reason, hesitate to have anal sex with; some of the guys above also are strict barebackers, so I'd have to be willing to bareback in order to have anal sex with them (which may postpone that possibility, beyond the physical distance).

Formspring: Do you play with your nipples when you jerk off?

Not to a noteworthy extent. I sometimes gently brush the hair on my arms though.

Formspring: Swallow or spit?

I haven't performed oral to the point where this has become an issue; either he's ended up jerking off or we've used it as foreplay for anal.

Given my hesitance toward taking in someone else's cum ("being bred") at this time and my apparent allergy toward cum, I'd have to say spit (at least for me). Should I prove to not have allergy or should that allergy be cured and should my opinion toward being "bred" change (systemtically or for a particular individual), I might swallow.

My choices are mine though, and I have no reason to inflict my choices upon others.

Formspring: If your boyfriend insisted, would you allow only him to get off and not pleasure yourself?

You assume I'd have or want a boyfriend, which is not the case.

Generally, when I'm having sex with a guy, pleasuring him is my priority. I get myself off when he wants me to get off (or after he's gotten off). I'll assert myself in the beginning, as too many tops (in my experience) go in too fast and trigger an ungodly painful spasm. Once I have loosened up sufficiently and can take him, I give the reins over to him.

Ideally, he will take charge of ensuring my pleasure (in exchange for my prioritization of him).

I haven't had enough sex to really generalize though. With such a limited number of hook-ups, each one can dramatically skew things.

Formspring: Have you ever been tied up?

Nope, I haven't. Against, something that might be interesting with someone I trust.

Formspring: Do you trim down there?

Not usually.

If I know I'm going to a hook-up, I may comb myself down there in order to get rid of loose hair and fluff it up (it feels better afterwards). I also on rarer occasions cut some of it.

Formspring: Have you ever been restrained using duct tape?

No, I haven't. Could be interesting with a person I trust.

Formspring: What's the most number of times you have shot a load in a 24-hour period?

Three or four times I think.

Formspring: Do you eat your cum?

No. I've written about my first cum-tasting experience here:

Formspring: Cut or uncut?

Uncut. Have no reason or desire to change it.

Formspring: What does your cum taste like?

From my one experience tasting it, I think it tastes like egg whites. The only other guy who's tasted it said it was sweet.

Formspring: When's the last time something was up your ass?

This morning, when I went to work on myself with an eight-incher replicock.

Formspring: Do you believe in monogamy?

"Believe"? Odd choice of words. I see monogamy as a characteristic of some relationships, not as a necessary ideal to strive for or put belief into.

Monogamy either is or isn't part of a relationship between two people. Whether a couple can maintain monogamy, I'd say it depends on the persons involved, what they want, and their circumstances. In two-party relationship, it may be important for the two parties to define the extent of their emotional and sexual openness / closedness.

For myself, I'm not inclined toward a two-party romantic relationship. The closest I get to it is that I'm interested in friendships that include sexual communication; it'd be ludicrous for me to expect such friends to be monogamous toward me given that I wouldn't be monogamous.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Formspring: Have you done anything that would give rise to need for an STD test?

I've had sex with other guys since my STD test last year.

Depending on how many sex partners you have and how often you have sex, you should take regular STD tests; the general suggestion is to take the full complement of tests once a year and to take a particular test if you have reason to think that you've been exposed to a specific STD.

In the year since my last testing, I've had oral sex with four guys and anal sex (wrapped) with three of them.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Tasting my cum (and reacting badly)

I went ahead and tasted my cum today (I was about to wipe it off my hand and figured "why not?").

The taste was boring, like egg whites. Appropriately enough, the consistency also reminded me of egg whites.

What surprised me was the reaction I had afterward. The part of my tongue I'd licked my cum with started hurting a little, as if it was drying out or had been burnt. On the advice of a friend, I used some Listerine to rinse it off. Curiously, the part of my tongue that hurt really hurt once the mouthwash started doing its job.

Combined with my previous experiences with skin reactions against my cum when it gets on the backside of my hands, I wonder if I have some kind of allergy. Because self-diagnosis is generally stupid, I'll ask the doctor the next time I go to take my STD tests.

Formspring: What are your tastes in porn?

My tastes in porn vary a little, but largely contain muscle, dominance, and contrasting appearances for the participants.

As a general rule, I prefer "top porn," porn where the top is looking to primarily get his rocks off, and less emotionally concerned with his bottom (I'm borrowing this term from Chris Steele's answer on his Q&A page). Elements that help get me off include a guy getting sucked, who looks somewhere other than at the guy sucking him and a guy fucking another, while not focusing his attention on his bottom guy. Oddly enough, I really enjoy it if the top jerks off the bottom; maybe it's that he's taking control of the bottom's pleasure that works for me.

I like for the guys' appearances to differ from each other, such as combining a more muscular guy with a more average or twinkish fellow or a hairy guy with a smoother fellow.

On some level, I project myself into the bottom's participation and, seeing myself as more average / slender, I like for the top to be more muscular or beefy.

Some of my favorite porn actors include: Chris Steele, Bobby Blake, Marcus Iron, Colton Ford, Michael Brandon, Aiden Shaw, and Pavel Novotny.

Some favorite scenes include: two scenes from Cops Gone Bad (Chris Steele & Michael Soldier's scene, which may be my most-watched porn scene, and Michael Brandon and Sky Donovan's jail cell scene), Chris Cooper and Lane Fuller's scene in Down Austin Lane, Rico Dulce and Kelly Madison's scene in Lords of the Ring (Blue Blake Productions), Steve Hurley and Hans Ebson's scene in Demolition Daddy, Dean Chasson and Greg Chasson's scene in The Brothers (Falcon Studios), Marcus Iron and Billy Kincaid's scene in Iron Will, and the back-alley & outdoor scene in High Tide.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Formspring: What would you say is your ultimate fantasy sexually?

To (suffer and) die for (the salvation of) humanity.

Growing up as a sensitive (and religious) child and hearing about how this son of the Christian creator god suffered and died for the salvation of humanity and hearing the praise of this sacrifice, I could find little more ultimate than to follow in his example.

It is not simply a sexual fantasy, but an ultimate fantasy for me: to traverse unjustified physical suffering for a goal I deem worthy and one that saves even those who would enact cruelties against me.

It is not a fantasy I am aroused by, but one that consumes much of my imagination and my imaginary senses.

My less "ultimate" sexual fantasies still contain a good dose of genre fantasy, magic, horror, and sensual violence. They're less focused on dying and more on the verge of dying, such as a careful and intimate dance with knives, the blades piercing just enough to make me bleed.

Formspring: Been with a girl?


When I was closeted and denying myself my sexuality, I went without sex rather than donning a shell of heterosexuality.

Formspring: Would you prefer to suck or be sucked?

I prefer sucking to being sucked.

It could have to do with my masturbation habits. Using a Death Grip / Grip of Doom has probably desensitized my dick to where the softness of a set of lips, a mouth, and a tongue just don't register that well. I'm trying to "correct" this by switching up my hand use with a Fleshjack.

Sucking also plays into my submissiveness and current bottom-orientation, servicing another man and preparing him for topping me.

The cock itself can also be a nice tool and simply worth pleasuring and enjoying all on its own.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Formspring: How does casual sex fit into your sex life?

Casual sex pretty much defines my (non-masturbatory) sex life.

At one point in my life (and I am uncertain if it was inspired by someone else or if it came from my own deliberations), I started thinking of sex not as a sacred/profane activity but as yet another form of communication. Sex is but another, more intense way for us to interact with each other.

While I have let myself explore some of the emotions that come with affection, crushes, and romantic-sexual love, I don't aim to get involved with anyone in anything more "serious" than a friendship.

Combining these two factors, it was easy for me to define and seek out friends who accept sex as part of our means of communication.

Part of this includes meeting potential friends and maybe hooking up on our first meeting together. Sometimes, the first meeting ends up being the only one and, in effect, "just a hook-up."

I've also gone for straight up hook-ups; even then, my curiosity about people is active and I want to know more about the guy I'm having sex with (even if we don't have known intention of meeting each other again); I understand this added level of interest doesn't work for all guys.

I should add, for posterity's sake, that I (unfortunately) only infrequently meet with guys for sex (largely due to logistics and my unwillingness to leave the comfort of my home; once I have my own place, my meetings will probably become more frequent).

My sexual fantasies are far more risque than I am though and include much more "casual" sex.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Formspring: Is being submissive part of your personality? Your sexual identity?

It is part of both.

My general personality is partly submissive, deferring to others and working toward some kind of harmony. I consider myself a good follower: once someone has established authority, I will recognize it as long as I consider it legitimate; should I start considering it as being illegitimate, I will usually try to remove myself from the situation rather than overthrow the authority in question. I (partly cowardly) show my disapproval by my increasing and eventually complete absence.

In addition to my follower quirks, I also prefer a harmonious state where everyone's wishes (including my own) are fulfilled. For a long time (and still to an extent) I've focused more on the joys of others than those of my own.

In recent years though, I've increasingly rebelled against this part of me. Submitting myself to others doesn't necessarily achieve what I want and way too often leaves me short. My assertiveness is growing and it feels good.

Currently, submission plays a significant role in my sexuality. Until I find the confidence in myself to lead, I want to be led. I am attracted to decisiveness and clarity, as well as caring, but authoritative sexual partners.

In terms of sexual fantasy, my limits expand to include a lot more dictatorial sex where I feed off of both the dominant dictator and the submissive subject.

Formspring: What would I have to do/say to pick you up in a bar?

You'd have to be direct. I'm terrible at responding to hints and subtlety as I fear that I may have misread innocuous gestures as suggestive ones and make the other guy uncomfortable by suddenly turning into Nick Green, Sex Kitten.

Look into my eyes, size me up, touch me, and grope me if you feel comfortable doing so in that setting. In being almost continually of two minds, I like decisive guys who go for what they want. If you dare, squeeze my ass, and if you're dominant, claim my crotch.

As for speaking, show an interest in me as person as well as a sexual object. Let your directness flow through the conversation, especially if you're doing all of the real talking.

I like a solid man; he gives me something to attach to and work off of.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Formspring: What could a guy do to really impress you?

Belch really loud and deep (it's one of my sexual fetishes).

Otherwise, he could express some positive level of confidence in himself and a degree of self-esteem that doesn't leave him a neurotic drama queen. He should dress and groom well (whether formal or casual). He should also be willing to share of himself in a conversation (as I am a little too willing to blurt out too much info about myself).

That's just basic level of impressiveness though. To really impress me, he would reveal that he has initiative and drive to seek out and do the things he wants in life. He must show a courage that I myself desire to achieve; in other words, he must inspire me by virtue of his own being.

Formspring: Hypothetically speaking, if you could choose, to be heterosexual or homosexual, what would have chosen?

I don't know.

So much of me is predicated on being homosexually oriented that to be heterosexually oriented would entail being a completely and utterly different person, past, present, and future. Though it is tempting to say "heterosexual," I simply have no real reference point of what and who I would be if I had been heterosexually oriented. I have no guarantee that my life would have been easier; sure, I wouldn't have gone through the homosexually-focused conflicts I've gone through, but neither could I rely on any other characteristics that may stem from my homosexuality (social empathy, sensitivity, etc).

I don't know whether being hetero would have resulted in me interacting more with my father as opposed to my current primary interaction with my mother; if it did, I would quite likely have become a more miserable fellow, akin to my father.

There's also a devil's argument: if I could and did choose to be heterosexual, I would have missed out on the experience of being in a reviled minority, missed out on truly struggling with my sexual identity, and by both failed to gain an otherwise inaccessible insight into both.

Being born bisexual would have been awesome though. If you put that on the table, I might just go for it because it offers a taste of both worlds while denying neither.

Formspring: Have there been any prosecutions under the Norwegian law making it illegal for an HIV+ person to have unprotected sex?

From what I could find via HIV Norway, nine men and three women have been convicted in accordance to Paragraph 155 (the paragraph stems from 1994, but was amended in 2003 to demand condom-use by persons infected with sexually transmitted diseases [the key one: HIV). Five of the cases include a spread of HIV, presumably by the convicted defendant. Their punishments range from 120 days to two years and ten months (it looks like those who inform their partner of their infection usually receive a lesser sentence than those who do not).

Recently, a sauna/bathhouse-owner in Bergen was charged under this paragraph and for, in effect, pimping out one of the worker's there (who is HIV-positive). It was the worker who brought the complaint to the police, so it'll be interesting to see what comes of this.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fleshjack Notes 2 / ?

I've now replaced my regular (daily / near-daily) masturbation habit with using my Fleshjack in order to check it out thoroughly.

The main thing I've noticed is you should be fully erect when using a Fleshjack. Having a soft or semi-hard dick prevents you from experiencing the full pressure of the Fleshjack sleeve. While it's still possible to get some use of it at that point, you may be better off using your hand at that point; your hand permits you to regulate the pressure necessary to get yourself off while the Fleshjack's (original sensation's) pressure is uniform throughout the sleeve.

The experience between using it while fully erect and soft is dramatically different. When I've been erect, the experience leaves me short of breath, panting, and with a hastened pulse that lasts for many minutes. When I've been soft, the experience leaves me with the sense of an average / adequate masturbation session.

One thing that's nice about the Fleshjack is when you shoot inside of it. As long as you take it off parallel to the floor, your cum will stay inside of it. This eliminates the need to dry off yourself (if you prefer drying off your cum instead of keeping it on yourself). Instead, you just rinse out the sleeve and the case and let it dry.

You should probably not use your Fleshjack as for long-term cum-storage if you're into that. (Samuel Colt,, warns against keeping it there because the cum [apparently] starts to ferment).

Monday, April 26, 2010

Formspring: Ever had sex outside in the rain? In the snow?


I have fantasized about it though, at least the rain part. Getting hot and ready out in the backyard during a warm Miami rain shower would be lovely. The closest I've gotten to this is making out at an abandoned zoo and cuddling in a nature preserve.

I haven't give the snow version of it the slightest thought before. Are we talking with or without clothing?

I have been out in the snow in swimming trunks before, after spending time in a sauna, which was oddly fun. I imagine having post-sauna, naked snow sex can be fun, as well as otherwise fully-clothed snow sex (where the only parts of the body really touching would be the sexual ones).

Formspring: If you were interested in going out with a guy, who'd be more likely to make the first move--you, or the other man?

Online or offline, he's most likely to make the first real move.

I don't know if this stems from my submissiveness, my self-confidence issues, or some kind of passive-aggressiveness toward going out (or some degree of all of the above).

The closest I do to making the first move is that I post thorough profiles of who I am and what I seek and that I sometimes send A4A "smiles" or their equivalent.

All of my "dating" history thus far consists of him making the first move.

Formspring: When you're making face-to-face conversation with a guy for the first time, what are you most likely to want to know right off the bat?

His interests, mundane and carnal (if appropriate).

I want to be able to ensure an as worthwhile conversation as possible, and his interests could go a long way in, first, establishing whether he and I share any interests and, second, providing me with something to work off of in the conversation. They'll also let me know if I really want a longer conversation with him, or if I should either drop the conversation or steer him toward someone else with whom he has more in common.

This requires some forethought on my part though, so conversations I'm in will sometimes rely on the old reliables (the weather and current events).

Formspring: how far do you go on the first date?

If he and I get along, I'll go as far as we both feel like. One of my best dates started with the two of us meeting at his place, sucking, fucking, cuddling, and then relaxing with cakes and a DVD.

I'm a little different (I think); I am not interested in a romantic relationship, but rather friendships with benefits (or simple hook-ups). Some "first dates" have ended up being strictly conversation or dining due to lack of further interest.

I know there are suggested rules for when to do what, particularly in order to "keep" a man. While I understand why some people don't go all out (they want to get to know the guy, etc), I see sex as being part of the getting-to-know-each-other process if both parties want it. This may not work with some guys, as some hold to the idea that sex is supposed to be some later destination after wooing and cooing. In that case, they're probably just going to want to be (non-sexual) friends with me, if anything at all, as we are then seeking two very different things.

Formspring: What do you think is your most attractive feature?

Physically, either my face or my skin.

My face still looks youthful when I've shaved, and my skin is largely smooth and unblemished. My eyebrows are of the hate 'em or love 'em variety. My eyes are pretty nice too.

Personality-wise, it's either my congeniality or my submissiveness. It depends on the person evaluating me.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Formspring: If you could change one thing about your high school experience, what would it be?

I would have come out as gay earlier so that I could experience being honestly gay during my teens. By staying in the closet, I prevented myself from experiencing teen romance and teen first-time sex. Being closeted also brought about frustration in much of my life, frustration that without which I would have been better off.

However, this frustration gave me information I have had and will still have use for in understanding other gay boys / men and their difficulties in embracing their sexuality.

Fleshjack Notes: Part 1 / ?

I received my Fleshjack, an Ice Jack: Ass - original sensation, a couple of weeks ago. I'm going to need some goes and time with it before I can really give a verdict on it, partly due to my infrequent sex toy usage where I'm at (living with relatives) and partly due to my current conditioning (more on this when it comes to the sensation). I received it the evening before going on Easter vacation with my relatives, and gave it a go that same night.

First off, the Fleshjack / Fleshlight sleeve material is exceedingly soft, pliable, and low on friction; it's unlike any material I can recall touching. So, at least for me, it took a little time to get conceptually used to this *thing* I was to stick my dick in.

Second, you use a hard plastic case to hold the material in place so that the "ass" in question doesn't fall to one side. If you have small hands like I do, you may want to use both hands on it as it's fairly volumous. Getting the sleeve into the case was tricky, though it might get easier with practice.

Third, you should rinse the sleeve before your first usage and each time after using it (unless you have an interest in keeping whatever cum and lube you might have put into it). Use lukewarm water; hot water will deteriorate the sleeve material, increasing its friction and potential stickiness (a mistake I started making when I first washed it).

Fourth, lube up your erect/semi-erect dick and the sleeve itself. The instructions say that oil-based lube will damage the material (yes, it's fragile), so you should use water-based lubes with your Fleshjack. Once lubed, go to town with it.

Now, if, like me, you're used to jerking off with the infamous Grip of Doom / Deathgrip, you will probably find the original sensation* Fleshjack way softer than your masturbation experience. In my case, I was uncertain if I could even cum with such a comfortable "grip" on my dick. If you think the sleeve material feels odd in your hands, just wait until you're inside it, jacking off with it.

In the end, I enjoyed the odd sensation, came with it, and had an easy time with the clean-up. The only problem I had with cleaning it was that the sleeve material is a dust magnet, causing dust and stray hairs to stick to it even when dry. If I took the time to practice with it regularly, I think I'd prefer having it as my standard jerking-off tool and using my Grip of Doom when I just need a quickie.

I should note that, at the time, I was also penetrating myself with a six-inch replicock, which made the experience more clumsy than it had to be and may be part of why I'm not ecstatic about my first experience with my Fleshjack. Because of this, I don't consider myself as having really experienced the Fleshjack to its potential and therefore consider this as a part one in a longer reflection on it.

(* I wish I had ordered a tighter sleeve, and recommend considering it if you also use the Grip of Doom when jacking off and are planning your first Fleshjack/Fleshlight purchase.)

Formspring: how far do you go on the first date?

If he and I get along, I'll go as far as we both feel like. One of my best dates started with the two of us meeting at his place, sucking, fucking, cuddling, and then relaxing with cakes and a DVD.

I'm a little different (I think); I am not interested in a romantic relationship, but rather friendships with benefits (or simple hook-ups). Some "first dates" have ended up being strictly conversation or dining due to lack of further interest.

I know there are suggested rules for when to do what, particularly in order to "keep" a man. While I understand why some people don't go all out (they want to get to know the guy, etc), I see sex as being part of the getting-to-know-each-other process if both parties want it. This may not work with some guys, as some hold to the idea that sex is supposed to be some later destination after wooing and cooing. In that case, they're probably just going to want to be (non-sexual) friends with me, if anything at all, as we are then seeking two very different things.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Formspring: Raw or wrapped?

Wrapped for me.

While I have unintentionally had raw / bareback sex in the spur (and heat) of the moment, I aim for condom usage. I intend on creating children later in life via a surrogate mother and my sperm, and HIV would be an obstacle (maybe an insurmountable one) against that goal. However, as I do want to enjoy sex and not live a life of self-imposed chastity (I did that too long while I was closeted), using a condom provides a nice middle ground.

Thus far, I've been barebacked one for, at most, a couple of minutes. The circumstances ameliorated any outrage I might have otherwise had though.

Do I have desires for barebacking? Certainly. My sexuality side is naughty, dirty, and submissive (thus far). Yet, my sexuality generally does not have the deciding vote in my decision-making. It is a part of me that must bend to my overall will.

I also have not swallowed, nor a significant desire to do. While I have no expectation that others should swallow when performing oral on me, I will not deny them that option should they want it.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Something to review later (Fleshjack)

Earlier today I ordered a Fleshjack, a Fleshlight specifically intended for gay men.

For those not in the know, a Fleshlight is a sex toy that simulates a bodily orifice, such as a mouth, vagina, or ass. It is primarily used for male masturbation, and is supposed to add another dimension of enjoyment over a regular hand.

From what I have heard and seen of Fleshlights, they're good (but expensive!) toys and I look forward to trying it out.

To check out Fleshlights, you can go to their official homepage.

Once I've received mine and tried it out a few times, I'll post a review of it.

Letting the bottom take the lead

If you are going to bottom and usually find your tops too quick on the insertion / are worried about your top going in too quickly or you're a top worried about hurting your bottom, try this:

Have the top sit down while maintaining his erection. Make sure to lubricate it (with water-based lube for latex condoms).

Next, have the bottom gradually sit down on the erect dick. This can take some time for inexperienced bottoms as they learn to adapt to the sensation of having a dick in their ass. Make sure the bottom stops immediately once he feels he's about to take on too much; that's a clear warning sign that his ass needs to get fully adapted to the dick before taking on anymore.

The bottom could withdraw his ass (it feels good, a nice relief from the stress of being penetrated), but that doesn't progress its adaptation for the top's dick.

Eventually, the bottom's ass gets past the head, which is often the broadest part of the dick. Even then, it's important to be aware of whether his ass is taking on too much; ultimately, you may reach a point where his ass can't take on anymore, whether due to anatomical limitations (not all guys can take on a nine-incher) or uncleared bowels (which is why douching / enema use / a high-fiber diet is important).

Once the bottom's ass has adapted to the dick, it should be ready for fucking (in a variety of positions). Make sure to add lube according to need or want, as it wears off, which can lead to unpleasant friction. Don't think of it as lubricating the dick, but keeping the inner ass lubricated for the dick.

First post: "Why I've started this"

I've decided to start up my own sex blog because a) I am a human that has sex and b) I'm an introvert who thinks (almost too much) about the sex I have, the sex that's out there, and how it can be understood (preferably to make it better).

Sex, particlarly the lack of it / the denial of it, has significance for my life. Growing up as a closeted gay man, my early years with it were spent denying it while simultaneously craving it; it was a reprehensible experience and I wish for no one else to experience it.

I intend to focus not so much on my individual encounters (I'm not aiming for a kiss-fuck-and-tell blog), but on what I experienced through them and what I have learned that may be of use to others.

Sex can be a source of amazing experiences; it should be our duty to strive toward that amazement.