Friday, March 26, 2010

Something to review later (Fleshjack)

Earlier today I ordered a Fleshjack, a Fleshlight specifically intended for gay men.

For those not in the know, a Fleshlight is a sex toy that simulates a bodily orifice, such as a mouth, vagina, or ass. It is primarily used for male masturbation, and is supposed to add another dimension of enjoyment over a regular hand.

From what I have heard and seen of Fleshlights, they're good (but expensive!) toys and I look forward to trying it out.

To check out Fleshlights, you can go to their official homepage.

Once I've received mine and tried it out a few times, I'll post a review of it.

Letting the bottom take the lead

If you are going to bottom and usually find your tops too quick on the insertion / are worried about your top going in too quickly or you're a top worried about hurting your bottom, try this:

Have the top sit down while maintaining his erection. Make sure to lubricate it (with water-based lube for latex condoms).

Next, have the bottom gradually sit down on the erect dick. This can take some time for inexperienced bottoms as they learn to adapt to the sensation of having a dick in their ass. Make sure the bottom stops immediately once he feels he's about to take on too much; that's a clear warning sign that his ass needs to get fully adapted to the dick before taking on anymore.

The bottom could withdraw his ass (it feels good, a nice relief from the stress of being penetrated), but that doesn't progress its adaptation for the top's dick.

Eventually, the bottom's ass gets past the head, which is often the broadest part of the dick. Even then, it's important to be aware of whether his ass is taking on too much; ultimately, you may reach a point where his ass can't take on anymore, whether due to anatomical limitations (not all guys can take on a nine-incher) or uncleared bowels (which is why douching / enema use / a high-fiber diet is important).

Once the bottom's ass has adapted to the dick, it should be ready for fucking (in a variety of positions). Make sure to add lube according to need or want, as it wears off, which can lead to unpleasant friction. Don't think of it as lubricating the dick, but keeping the inner ass lubricated for the dick.

First post: "Why I've started this"

I've decided to start up my own sex blog because a) I am a human that has sex and b) I'm an introvert who thinks (almost too much) about the sex I have, the sex that's out there, and how it can be understood (preferably to make it better).

Sex, particlarly the lack of it / the denial of it, has significance for my life. Growing up as a closeted gay man, my early years with it were spent denying it while simultaneously craving it; it was a reprehensible experience and I wish for no one else to experience it.

I intend to focus not so much on my individual encounters (I'm not aiming for a kiss-fuck-and-tell blog), but on what I experienced through them and what I have learned that may be of use to others.

Sex can be a source of amazing experiences; it should be our duty to strive toward that amazement.