Monday, May 3, 2010

Formspring: Hypothetically speaking, if you could choose, to be heterosexual or homosexual, what would have chosen?

I don't know.

So much of me is predicated on being homosexually oriented that to be heterosexually oriented would entail being a completely and utterly different person, past, present, and future. Though it is tempting to say "heterosexual," I simply have no real reference point of what and who I would be if I had been heterosexually oriented. I have no guarantee that my life would have been easier; sure, I wouldn't have gone through the homosexually-focused conflicts I've gone through, but neither could I rely on any other characteristics that may stem from my homosexuality (social empathy, sensitivity, etc).

I don't know whether being hetero would have resulted in me interacting more with my father as opposed to my current primary interaction with my mother; if it did, I would quite likely have become a more miserable fellow, akin to my father.

There's also a devil's argument: if I could and did choose to be heterosexual, I would have missed out on the experience of being in a reviled minority, missed out on truly struggling with my sexual identity, and by both failed to gain an otherwise inaccessible insight into both.

Being born bisexual would have been awesome though. If you put that on the table, I might just go for it because it offers a taste of both worlds while denying neither.

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