Saturday, July 10, 2010

Forum comment - sexual wrongness

A fellow started a forum thread where he asked readers to evaluate whether he had been wrong in having sex with his friend's heterosexually-married dad. This was my input:

Whether it was wrong is largely up to you and your thoughts about it; you each (probably) have responsibility for the choices you make, you for having sex with your friend's dad and he for having sex with his son's friend and (presumably) outside of his relationship. I add "presumably" because we don't know the terms of his relationship, and therefore will likely project an assumed sexually exlusive relationship onto them.

I don't think you were wrong or right in the matter, nor that it was necessarily a poor choice. The primary thing for you is how you feel about your choice and that you can either stand by it or live with and learn from it. You should consider it with relation to your values, both the ones you hold and the ones you want to hold (if they are different). As they may be different from the values of other persons, you may come into conflict with others (such as in some of the replies to this thread).

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Reply to studfucker's "I Love You, You Pay My Rent"

You can read studfucker's entry here: I Love You, You Pay My Rent

studfucker, through his posts, strikes me primarily as an exalting dominant man: he dominates other men to help them achieve and fulfill their submissive natures. Together through this, he and his submissive reach mutual exaltation; they reach their current boundaries dominant and submissive and stretch them that little bit further.

The other type of dominant he describes, the "Uncaring or Evil Top," is a degrading dominant man: he dominates other men to break them down and possess them. They are his objects; they and their boundaries (and exploring those boundaries) are not his concern as he has already brought them to a low enough level, one sufficient to keep them with little effort on his part. Speaking judgmentally, his dominance is lazy, it doesn't expand or explore; it is content with itself.

In the field of dominance and submission, I'd suspect that (as an inexperienced novice) contentment is generally undesireable. Dominance and submission is about exploring oneself and (sometimes) helping other explore themselves.