Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Lighter Side: Foreskin Follies

Despite being born in the US, I am not circumcised. Circumcision is not part of family heritage on either side. I'm pretty much happy that I wasn't circumcised as there was no need for it and I like having the foreskin available to me when I jerk off (it also puts me in the uncut niche when I hook up in the US).

However, there are some times where my foreskin becomes a bother.

One major incident of this was in the summer of 2013 at the end of my weekend with PhillyBreeder. On my last morning there, he drove me to the airport where we said our goodbyes and I got ready for the next part of my US trip. After checking in my luggage, I had plenty of time to spare and figured that I'd hit the can first.

I found a stall, sat down, and went about my business...that is, until I discovered a problem.

If you have foreskin, you're probably aware that foreskin scrunches up when your dick is soft. If you piss while it's still scrunched up, the foreskin may divert the piss so that it shoots in a direction other than the one you're pointing your dick toward. That's just what happened in this case. My foreskin was scrunched and my piss missed its mark...by a lot.

The whole time I had been sitting and pissing and shitting, unbeknownst to me, I was shooting a parabola of piss out of the toilet bowl and straight into my boxers and shorts.

Once I discovered it, it was too late. Both my boxers and my shorts were soaked with piss.

On the upside, I had kept hydrated during my stay in Philadelphia so my piss was of the lighter colored, near odorless kind. On the downside, it was still piss, it was going to get worse with the smell, and I was at the start of a day of traveling from Philly to Albuquerque (with two stops in-between).

I tried drying up as much as I could, but the toilet paper could only soak so much and I was still left with piss-moistened legwear. Thus began the Hunt for Non-Piss-Soaked Legwear at Philadelphia International Airport.

I don't know if you, dear reader, have tried finding reasonably priced legwear at PHL to make up for your piss-soaked clothes before you have to board your flight, but it's an adventure of its own.

In the end, I was able to find a store that sold reasonably priced shorts (the first store I found was a clothes boutique, with prices to match). After securing the shorts, I cleaned as much the piss from my legs as I could, put on the new pair, and otherwise traveled commando across the continental US.

The lesson: if you have scrunchy foreskin, always pack extra legwear and keep it with you when traveling.

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So, dear reader, have you had any accidents because of your foreskin?

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